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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She creates vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has turned into me being her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest assisting her make content.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with someone. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an audience. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: noticing the details, sharing them with an audience that values the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the work we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not all people likes being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private videographer, but friends help each other in small ways. My assumption was filming a short video here or there would be enjoyable for her. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She must to honor her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?